Posts Tagged With: englishfun

Life’s little instructions

I take no credit in this. All I did were sneaking into the women restroom at my workplace, copying down the lines from the wall, and typing them up here. So, well, obviously I can’t explain all of them, but generally I think they’re cool. Anyway, enjoy!!!

Life‘s Little Instructions


Sing in the shower.

Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

Watch a sunrise at least once a year.

Leave the toilet seat in the down position.

Never refuse homemade brownies.

Strive for excellence, not perfection.

Plant a tree on your birthday.

Learn three clean jokes.

Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tanks full.

Compliment three people everyday.

Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

Leave everything a little better than you found them.

Keep it simple.

Think big thoughts, but relish small pleasures.

Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

Floss your teeth.

Ask for a raise when you feel you’ve earned it.

Be forgiving of yourself and others.

Overtip breakfast waitresses.

Say “thank you” a lot.

Say “please” a lot.

Avoid negative people.

Buy whatever kids are selling on card-tables in their front yards.

Wear polished shoes.

Remember other people’s birthdays.

Commit yourself to constant improvement.

Carry jumper cables in your trunk.

Have a firm handshake.

Send a lot of Valentine’s cards. Sign them, “Someone who thinks you’re terrific.”

Look people in the eye.

Be the first to say “Hello.”

Use the good silver.

Return all things you borrow.

Make new friends but cherish old ones.

Keep secrets.

Sing in a choir.

Plant flowers every spring.

Have a dog.

Always accept an outstretched hand.

Stop blaming others. Be responsible for every area of your life.

Wave at kids on school buses.

Be there when people need you.

Feed a stranger’s expired parking meter.

Don’t expect life to be fair.

Never underestimate the power of love.

Drink champagne for no reason at all.

Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.

Don’t be afraid to say, “I’ve made a mistake.”

Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know.”

Compliment even small improvements.

Keep your promises (no matter what).

Marry only for love.

Rekindle old friendships.

Count your blessings.

Call your mother.



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Unique ways to confess love

Lượm lặt ^_^.



I hereby declare I’m not responsible for the… inappropriate parts of this post, ‘cuz I’m merely quoting it from what I’ve picked up at the link below. You’re strongly advised to read only and not to follow.

This is from tj-han,

During a conversation with a love-sick friend in which I offered “advice” (lol.. advice) on how to let the girl know he wants her, the idea for this post was born.You know how anime always has these clichés, like love-letters placed in some shoe-rack/desk-drawer, bentos, Valentine Chocolates etc? Now, I’m not sure if these are the usual methods by which Japanese people confess but they sure are the usual way anime characters do. And how many of these succeed? I reckon the percentage would be like.. 14%.They don’t realize the reason for their failure is because of the utterly boring tactics applied. Be creative and daring, I say.Check out this list I made and use these unconventional attack moves for what surely would be unexpected results. These are from the guy’s POV of course, so if you’re a girl, just change roles.

1. At the swimming pool together, casually remark, “I feel great being bathed in your juices.” This will let her know that you enjoy her company and of course, like her. “Juices” is a powerful word.

Ex: “Ruri, I enjoy being soaked in your juices, however dilute they are.”

2. After sports or physical education class, casually pick up her used gym clothes and sniff it hard in front of her. Inhale with all your might and say, “Mmmm the scent of a woman in heat.” This informs the female that you have the intention of mating and that the season is here. “Kou no tsuki” as they say on Chimera. Note that the phrase “in heat” is the emphasis here, so you can use this move anywhere. For example, walk into the same room as her and say, “I smell a woman in heat!”. It works on 99% of the world’s living organisms.

3. When your class teacher (assuming you and the loved one are in the same class) ask for your career aspirations, shout, “MY GOAL IS TO MAKE MANY, MANY BABIES WITH (insert name of girl)!!” Make sure everyone hears it clearly and then look at the girl with widened eyes and breathe very heavily. Add some snorting noises for better effect. She’ll realize how daring, bold and far-sighted you are, with great plans for the future.

4. Use the power of art to spread the message. From your local art supplies store, purchase spray paint. Lots of it. Then using information about her favorite haunts, frequently taken routes and home address, paint pretty pretty (optional though) pictures of you and her in suggestive positions. This is much clearer and conveys more emotion than a mere bento or love-letter. After all, a picture’s worth a thousand words. You could caption the paintings too, like “You and I, forever, together!!!”. Ah, romantic.

5. When queuing up for food at the cafeteria during lunch, be sure to stand right behind the girl. When it’s your turn and she’s about to leave the counter, announce your choice of food loudly. “I want (insert name of girl). I love her so much.” So so simple, you don’t even have to make your own bento. The best part about this method is, she can’t really run away fast because she’s carrying a tray of food while you’re still empty handed (for now).

6. Remember how some love-sick guys try to be unique and hire thugs to harass the girl so they can be a knight in shining armor? Cliché. I suggest the Stockholm syndrome instead. You kidnap the girl personally and lock yourselves together in a small room. Proceed to pour out tragic stories of your past. (this sounds quite creepy even by the standards of this post).

On the way home is a golden opportunity.

7. Get a load of super glue, pour it all over your right hand and with lightning quick movements, grab her left hand. Shake a bit of the superglue instant hardener (available at all hardware stores) on and voila! You guys are together forever. This works on the principle of arranged marriages. Sometimes, there isn’t a choice so you live with what you have and in the process, discover great points about each other.

8. Now for an advanced technique. The male tsundere. Be mean, very mean, to the target. Accuse her of being a pervert and beat the sh*t out of her. Gather a bunch of docile guys and pay them to act as though they like the target as well. Soon, the target will be only attracted to you due to the law of tsunderenism.

9. Get her a credit card and say, “The credit limit of this card is less than the love I have for you.” Remember to set a decent amount though. Preferably unlimited. The girl will now realize now you are willing to make great sacrifices for her and you respect her freedom as well.

10. Sculpt a figurine of the girl and give it as a gift. Perfect for letting her know you take notice of her appearance and are constantly observing her in an artistic sense. Be sure to add in lots of love during the moulding process. After all, Azuma Kazuma’s feelings can be transmitted through his bread, so why can’t yours?

So that’s 10 creative and totally passionate ways to go about igniting the romance of the century. Please do try it and email me the results so I can fine-tune this list. Also, I take no responsibility for any arrests, Personal Protection Orders, expulsions, suspensions or brutal beatings incurred from the use of the above tactics.

Now I feel great because I have helped love-sick men in their path to success.

Some comments:

From Gary Ee:

Some other ways to prove your eternal devotion to your dream girl:

Start a new religion worshipping her as Supreme Mother Goddess of the Cosmos. Declare anyone who will not acknowledge her divinity as an infidel and smite him with your righteous fury.

Conquer the world so that she can be Queen of all she surveys and rebuild civilization in her image. Next stop the entire Milky Way galaxy.

Begin an underground brutal fighting tournament entirely for her entertainment. Nothing says “I love you” than an utter disregard for the life and safety of other sentients (?) if it will give her a moment of happiness.

Become immortal. Nothing works quite as well as persistence. Save some of what you found and give it to her after killing off all other immortals ensuring you’ll be the only two ageless humans on Earth. Then start Third Impact so that she can be the new Eve of the human race.

Build a giant magnetic lasso and give her the moon. Literally.

Remember, disregard for your own health, sanity and the lives of any other creature is a sign of your devotion to your loved one. If you still hesitate to completely annihilate her enemies with extreme prejudice and listen to the lamentations of their loved ones then you must work on your sincerity. This is the most important trait when trying to woo a girl.


From Tsubaki:

I’m sure doing any of those in Singapore will bag you a 3days2night hotel suite at Tanglin Police Post.

From DrmChsr0:

tj_han, for helping the human race accelerate further to its extinction, I award thee the Medal of Genocide.

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Just a debate on the use of E that turns into a heated argument

Đây là bằng chứng của n năm trước, thời kỳ nóng máu, cứng đầu và phản nghịch của ta, cứ việc viết theo present tense, nhưng thực chất đều là quá khứ, quá khứ, mây bay~



Er, hello? This is a thread on, under the section “Giao Lưu Ngoại Ngữ”, it’s a bit amusing so I posted it here.

Warning: it takes a little bit of patience to go through this. And by the end of it, surely your image of me will change, so prepare for it! (I don’t care that much, though, this is what I am :D)

Note: L is me. Z and Ns are my acquaintances. Ù and S (s-chan) are my close friends. K is the box’s moderator. And the rest are… well, I don’t care.


Title of the thread: All rite..wat sup yo



i’m a new bie and i’m here with all my pleasure yo. i know my knowlege which has limited..thats why i need to learn a lot from you guys.

actually, i hate grammar and writing, 😀

i hope i gonna make it better rite here..

anyway…nice to meet yo.



U r suck X-(!

I really dont like U >:P ~.~ !!!



Nah, may be he’s not suck, he just want to be funny(or sth like that) :so_funny:



Let’s start with typing exactly as much as you can, ok? 😀



Let’s start with typing exactly as much as you can, ok? 😀

*Like it*

—> Facebook-addict 😀 😀

@O: seems to me u r a funny one 😀 😀 Why don’t you tell us about what you do in your spare time? School? Job? Favorite dog/cat/vegetable/fish/game/sport/food/kind of girl/color/clothes/style/udhygdguj<hshwe or/and anything else you find pleasure to tell us 😀 :sr:




Mạn phép sửa lại đôi chút 😀


“I’m a newbie and it’s my pleasure to be here, yo. I know what I’ve learned are limited… That’s why I need to learn a lot from you guys.

Actually I hate grammar and writing,

I hope I’m gonna improve myself here…

Anyway… nice to meet you.”

@TH: “suck” is not an adj, it’s a verb.



udhygdguj<hshwe or/anything else you find pleasure to tell us 😀 :sr:

Whats that? Ù? udhygdguj<hshwe? :sr:

@L: Ah, now I remembered, the word is “sucked”. I felt sth strange but i didn’t know what :haha:

where is your Doraemon ava? 😀



I feel a sudden urge to show everyone my big brown eye. 😀

Wait, I still have Doraemons all over my profile, my binder, my desktop screen, my iPod, my T-shirts, etc…



@O: Mạn phép sửa lại đôi chút 😀 ~~”I’m a newbie and it’s my pleasure to be here, yo. I know what I’ve learned are limited… That’s why I need to learn a lot from you guys.

Actually I hate grammar and writing,

I hope I’m gonna improve myself here…

Anyway… nice to meet you.”

@TH: “suck” is not an adj, it’s a verb.

wats that? i dont think he missed any grammar point that s needed to be fixed?!?:thatall:



“new bie”

-> wrong spelling

“i know my knowlege which has limited”

-> in this situation, after this “I know” should be a clause, not a noun phrase, and wrong spelling of knowledge.

“actually, i hate grammar and writing,

i hope i gonna make it better rite here..”

-> confusion between singular and plural.

The other changes I suggested were just to make the lines sound smoother. When we write, sometimes the grammar is not wrong but the sentence sounds forced/ unnatural. It’s ‘cuz he wanted help with grammar and writing, not for my own pleasure, that I suggested those. -___-”



newbie>>>>>>its totally not wrong spelling, check a dictionary if u will…it just means newcomer!

who said a clause has to follow after “i know”…????its not necessary, check it again!

the only thing i would say he could do better is that “i know my knowledge has a limit”, “which” is not necessary in this case, only 1 object, no confusion.

bdw…can u count grammar? or writing? i mean in some cases, yes u can count writing if u mean it like a writing, an essay…sth like that! but i guess here, he probably meant writing as an action, then its singular.

but anyway, ur rephrase aint that bad!



“Newbie” is the right spelling, I’m talking about “new bie”. Honestly, I’m not that arrogant to point out wrong spellings before making sure that I’m right.

Yes, “I know” is not always followed by clauses, could be phrases. That’s why I DID say, “in this situation”. I think what he meant was “tôi biết kiến thức của tôi có hạn”. “My knowledge which has a limit” is a phrase, while “my knowledge has a limit” is a clause – it’s not just a matter of eliminating the word “which”; these two have different meanings and structures. They cannot be used in place of each other, cannot be switched with each other and are not equals. If a teacher grades this, these two will just be one right answer and one wrong answer.

Grammar and writing are uncountable nouns, if you think of writing as V-ing, fine (but I must say that since they’re placed in parallel positions, their categories – nouns/verbs/adjectives/adverbs – should be the same). But the pronoun which is used in place of “grammar and writing” is “they/them” [plural], not “it” [singular], since they are different, separate entities. We say, “grammar and writing are…”, not “grammar and writing is…”, don’t we?

Please, check what people said, word by word, before assuming they were wrong anywhere, will you?

@O: sorry, I didn’t mean to be… mean. But since somebody asked, I had to point your mistakes out clearly. Don’t worry, your English will improve with practice. Every time you make a mistake, take note of it and correct it the next time you use.



Whats that? Ù? udhygdguj<hshwe?

=> anything that s/he is pleased to tell us

What else do you think it could be?

newbie>>>>>>its totally not wrong spelling, check a dictionary if u will…it just means newcomer!

why “just”? Sounds like you belittle the word “newbie”.

@L: your horrid eye encourages me so much to take a shot on my own, since it may horrify you back :A (what the h-ck am I saying?) I mean, it is very beautiful and I doubt if the other one is as fine. If it is, you would have taken pic of both, wouldn’t ya?

Are you willing to correct my writing as well? plzzzz *begging*</hshwe>



hmm…if its ur own definition of wrong spelling…lol!

well, i aint a big fan of grammar or writing or watever, plus I dont wanna get into any ridiculous argument, but seriously i gotta say sth

first of all, check again wat s phrase n wat s clause again! both of them r clauses bdw.

and 2nd, That sentence about knowledge or whatsoever cant be used that way, is not coz of the phrase or clause flaw, they have nth to do w it. bt coz first, it sounds pretty odd, dont chu think?

n 2nd, “which” here actually doesnt make any sense. Coz obsviouly, those combining words r used to for a reason>>combining sentences, n since there r no 2 ideas needed to combine then “which” should be omitted.

anyhow…didnt say ur wrong, i just meant he wasnt wrong that badly to have watever he wrote changed completely!



– Even a space in the wrong position is considered a spelling mistake. You know “candies” and “can dies” are different, right?

– “My knowledge which has a limit” IS a phrase; to be exact, it’s a phrase in which the noun is “my knowledge” and the clause “which has a limit” is dependent of the noun.

“My knowledge has a limit” is a clause, with “my knowledge” as the subject and “has” as the verb.

If you think these definitions are not right, then say so.

– I just differentiated between clause and phrase on the last post because you stated that “which” was not necessary. “Necessary” means that it is still right, you can just put it there or toss it aside. However, “which” here is not unnecessary, it’s totally wrong.

Ah, I see that you’ve changed your mind and said that it doesn’t make sense just now, haven’t you?

– I didn’t change them completely, and I have to repeat that I only suggested these to make the lines smoother. I didn’t change what he meant to say. Anyway, take it or leave it, it’s up to him, isn’t it? Showing someone another way to interpret his ideas isn’t even acceptable now?

– I’m not that shallow and self-conceited to view this as an argument. It’s just a debate on the use of English. Well, I don’t know that getting to the core of a problem and figuring out the right solutions are considered ridiculous.

– It’s really hard to see beyond those abbreviations. Like what my prof said, I’m being absorbed in a “cosmological singularity”… haizz… and thoroughly p.o’ed.

@ù: would love to show both of my eyes, but they won’t fit the avatar’s space at the same time. My eyes are pretty, as stars in the night sky (you won’t know the stars’ ugliness unless you look at them up close!).

Now don’t you honey go around spreading bad rumors about me O___o. I’m not an ESL (demonic) examiner or anything of the sort -___-”. Haven’t you and s-chan corrected me several times already??



Alrite….I dont think thats wrong spelling honey.

“snobish, or arogant, or imodest”>>>thats wrong spelling…

I didnt change my mind sweetheart, “he could have done better…”>>i think thats the most modest way to comment on s.o’s writing.

Its just his greeting for God sake. I believe he didnt mention anything about correction. Its not like i would jump in n be like..”hey dude, ur greeting sucks, get over it n this is how u write a greeting here” like some certain people.

Some explanation here:

my knowledge: is the subject, could be a phrase, obviously not a clause

which has a limit: is a phrase as well, since there is no subject doing the verb. Its unclear, it leaves people a question when its by itself. K, u said its a dependent clause? because it has subordinate conjunction?, but guess wat….only if “which” connects 2 independent clauses, is it considered subordinate conjunction.

And obviously there r no 2 sentences present.

So “my knowledge which has a limit” , to a third person, its confusing. “which” here has no effect, it doesnt help making sense, but rather makes the sentence incomplete.

And bdw “necessary” is the way to avoid the intense, like i said…only modest words for suggestion.



i think it should be something like… hey yo, what’s up dogs?(or cat)

“Actually i hate grammar and writing”… you dont need to go any further, this is a good stop :sr:

“anyway…nice to meet yo”, piss out!

And with this little extra “piss”, it gonna turn “yours greeting message” to “the level that you want”

Hope this helped 😀



what is “piss out”, man? should we have a new topic? Sure, we do.



piss out!


oh my god, im laughing my head off… :so_funny:

lol, that’s a good one.. seriously Ns *thumbs up*.. isn’t subtlety a very beautiful thing?? :so_funny:

Ps: am i the only one laughing??



i think it should be something like… hey yo, what’s up dogs?(or cat) “Actually i hate grammar and writing”… you dont need to go any further, this is a good stop :sr: “anyway…nice to meet yo”, piss out!And with this little extra “piss”, it gonna turn “yours greeting message” to “the level that you want”

Hope this helped 😀

Hey there lovely, haven’t seen you for a while, and now I notice your level of sarcasm has gone up :so_funny:

Well then, if you said so….:D

p.o, p.o… although you’re being excessively nice to me, I’m still gonna die with laughter…:so_funny::so_funny:

❤ S-chan hon, you’re still having WAY too much fun. >_O

Wtp, you’re overdoing it with those endearments, but… er, “not to sound overly arrogant, but to be perfectly honest, wtfp, were I so inclined, I think I could” still get what tfp you’re trying to p… er, mean.

Of all the frigging crappy things reports have ever brought about, apart from error analysis, citing reference sources is the thing I despise most. So to prevent a tragedy from happening I would just comment that “which has a knowledge” is considered a dependent noun clause, and that I have never said anything about subordinate conjunction nor heard that “which” is called a sc… anywhere.

Isn’t modesty such a pretty word? So pretty that people have exhausted every single bit of its beauty, while snobbishness, arrogance and immodesty are such wonders which the world has yet to discover 🙂




p.o’ed = pissed off

cat = I think Ns was talking about me, haha, ‘cuz apparently I’m infatuated with cats, esp Doraemon, and used to set it as my ava.


As you can see, the name is wtp (“wat the pee”). Ns (intentionally or not) linked it to “piss out”. Following suit, I went with “wtfp”, “what tfp”, trying to p (wat the fucking pee, what the fucking point, trying to pee…).

I realize I was mean, but who told her to use sarcasms on me? (anyone notice the overly-used endearments – such as honey, sweetheart – and meaning of the words she used as examples for wrong spelling?)

Talk about subtlety!

About citing reference sources, I was talking about having to use online dictionaries if she was more and more pig-headed.


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